Sunday, September 24, 2017

The neighbor came by after church to share a cup of tea with her. The Mason’s wife believed the woman was somehow trying to convert them to her spiritual way of thinking with indirect proselytizing and the power of prayer...


Sept. 23rd has come and gone and nothing of significance occurred. No Nibiru, no Rapture, no Second Coming. The Mason’s wife hadn’t expected anything to happen in the first place, but her neighbor, the born-again, had secretly hoped the Rapture would finally arrive…


It was considered a secret because when she mentioned her wish, it was prefaced with—“I’m going to tell you a secret.” And the secret was that her faith did not allow her to see anything with reason…


The only thing that can be said to have occurred with any certainty is that Trump has declared war on everyone, friends and enemies alike. Although this cannot be attributed to any phenomenon, it is simply the way things have evolved…


However, the Sept. 23rd prediction has been moved up a month to October 21st, according to her Christian neighbor. “David Meade, the man who predicted that Nibiru was coming in Sept., now says it will be here in late October,” she said…


The Mason’s wife was seeing blind faith at work. It was sitting across from her at the kitchen table, drinking herbal tea, hope resting confidently in her god fearing eyes…


She noted that this new date was close to Halloween and pointed this out to her neighbor...


“There’s no connection,” the woman said. “We await the sacred arrival of our lord and savior. It has nothing to do with collecting candy on a pagan holiday.”…


“Why do you put so much faith in what Meade says?” said the Mason’s wife…


“Because the man is a Christian, and he’s smart,” said the woman. “He knows numbers better than anyone I know. And he knows prophecy.”…


“But maybe he’s wrong. Isn’t that possible?”


The woman looked at her with infinite patience. “He reads the Bible,” she said. “He talks with God.”…


Sometimes, thought the Mason’s wife, it’s best to leave well enough alone…


Friday, September 22, 2017

The skank had to get a hepatitis-A vaccine because she was a restaurant worker, and the troll thought it’d be a good idea if he got one, too, just to be on the safe side…


The hep-A epidemic was hitting areas hard along the coast that had a large homeless population. The troll thought it was reminiscent of the dark ages; the Black Plague and lack of indoor plumbing, etc, etc…


He considered himself lucky that he hadn’t contracted HIV during the time he was geezing with shared needles on the street. Much of the credit goes to the skank who watched him like a guard dog when he cleaned up…


Sometimes he felt an urge to pop a bag but usually bought himself a can of beer instead and let the jones fade. Running around at the behest of bad smack was something he did not want to sign up for…



And the shit on the street was bad. Bad junk and bad shitty streets were giving a lot of people bad days and bad nights 24/7. He could do without it…


Now, when he came home from riding the bus or trolley, or just hanging out downtown, he’d scrub himself in the shower as if he’d traveled over radioactive ground...


The thing was, he already had a hepatitis virus running through him. It was hep-C. He’d probably gotten it off a shared needle. He’s had it for fifteen years and it doesn’t seem to be doing him any harm. At least not on the surface. But they say it can spring on you any time…


He heard there’s a cure for it now and thought of looking into it but didn’t feel any rush to do it because of the adverse side effects associated with the cure...


But the hep-A outbreak was different. People were dropping. Most of them were homeless and probably had other health issues as well…


The bug is everywhere. It’s on raw shit lying in the street, on hands, rails, doorknobs, shoe leather. It’s in the snot bubbling out of the wino’s nostril; saturated in the gob of slime smeared on the sidewalk; the bug crawls on the dollar bill and loose change you got back for your morning latte…


“Jesus Christ,” he said. “There’s a lot of shit happening all over the fucking place. Earthquakes, threats of nuclear war, insane weather, killer bugs roaming the streets. Shit!”…


“Are we having fun yet?” said the skank…


“And what about Trump barking like a dog?” said the troll. “Fat Kim calling him a doddering old man who speaks nonsense. What’s up with that?”…


“Don’t you know?” said the skank…


“The warlock says they’re going to clash,” said the troll…


“Looks that way,” said the skank. “But let’s not talk about it. It gives me the willies.”…


The troll poured himself some coffee and thought getting a hep-A vaccine is probably a good idea…