Thursday, July 12, 2018

The Mason's wife knew better than to say too much about religion or politics around people she knew who might want to push her buttons. Today she let her guard down...


"There is no doubt in anyone's mind that Donald J. Trump is a bona fide sociopath," she said. "He meets all the criteria."...


"He lies, he's irresponsible, loves to manipulate people, and does it all without emotion." She related this to her born-again neighbor who was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of cinnamon tea. She had come around to ask for a donation of some can goods for her church's food drive...


"He's also declared Jerusalem the capital of Israel," said the neighbor. "That took courage. Telling our allies to pay their fare share in NATO dues took courage. So you see, it all depends on how you look at Trump. He's not the evil monster everyone says he is."...


The Mason's wife wanted to change the subject and wished she had never brought the issue up in the first place. Some people are just too set in their ways. As far as her born-again neighbor was concerned, she was going straight to the bowels of hell for not accepting Jesus Christ as her personal lord and savior...


The Mason's wife was sure the woman kept coming around in the hopes of saving her soul. They had very little else in common. If this was the case, it was a task she did not appreciate, feeling that her soul was not in any immediate danger and was not in need of saving...


"I pray to God every night that President Trump appoints a Supreme Court justice who will help topple Roe v. Wade," said her neighbor. "It's time we took morality back from the clutches of the satanic Democrats."...


"That would set the woman's movement back decades," said the Mason...


"It's time people embraced the teachings of Jesus Christ and leave everything else on the ash heap," said the born-again woman...


"We were thinking of going out for a frozen yogurt," said the Mason's wife, by way of changing the flow. "Would you like to come with us?"...


"Oh, no, thank you," said the woman. "I'll be going to the church to drop off the can goods for the food drive."...


Thank God, thought the Mason's wife. Thank God...


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

The weather was straightening out in small increments, becoming more seasonal. Last week had been brutal. It was a good day to relax, hit the bong and chug a few cold ones. That's all the troll had in mind. --And then the phone rang...


It was a last minute thing. They invited the troll to join them in a 4 man poker game only when the Mason said he would be busy doing other things...


The troll arrived late at the Master Mason's apartment, so he didn't catch all the conversation...


"I really don't understand what you see in her," said the Master Mason. "She's a lousy politician."...


"See in her?" questioned the 33rd degree Mason. "Just look at her. She has the kind of face that moans when she's being penetrated. --And she's an excellent politician. She's just on the wrong side of the issues."...


"She's a married women," said the Master Mason. "The lust has probably worn thin by now."...


"You've never gone to bed with a married woman?" said the 33rd degree Mason...


"That really is beside the point," said the Master Mason. "How do you know that she likes to moan?"...


"My god, man, look at the woman's face. She's a moaner if there ever was one."...


The troll barely new who the 33rd degree Mason was, having only seen him a few times before. But he was the only man the troll knew who wore a bowler hat in public...


"It's an East Coast thing," informed the warlock...


"Who are they talking about?" said the troll...


"I have no idea," said the warlock, sitting at the card table shuffling a deck...


At the living-room bar, the Master Mason was saying, "So you sent her a pair of fancy shoes anonymously?"...


"A pair of Ferragamo pumps," said the 33rd degree Mason. "I mentioned in the note I included that if she wore the shoes three times in a week, her political troubles would evaporate."...


"Do you suppose she believed it?"...


"I don't even know if she got the shoes," said the 33rd degree Mason, "what with all the bizarre poisonings that are going on in London, I suppose any anonymous package will be suspect."...


"Why don't you just tell her you'd like to shag her and come out with it," said the Master Mason. "Tell her who you are."...


"Like you say, she's a married woman."...


"So where does that leave you?"...


"Gripping the hose and flying with Pegasus," said the 33rd degree Mason. "Life is so unfair."...


Tuesday, July 10, 2018

The heat and humidity were high. It was a good day to be by the pool...


They were each smoking a straight sativa blunt, 2046, courtesy of the shaman's private stash. They were large as small cigars...


Exhaling a cloud of smoke, he commented on one of his favorite themes, hoping to pry open his listener's minds. "Being born into the past is as common as being reborn into the future," he said...


"Most people believe that time moves forward when it comes to reincarnation, never backwards," continued the shaman. "But why should that be? They say you can't change the past. And that's correct, up to a point."...


"Everything is happening now," he said. "The past, in its many different timelines, coexists with the present. So it's perfectly feasible to be reborn as your present self in a past alternate timeline, building a separate history. Does that make sense to you?"...


"Some," said the witch. "Alternate realities are numberless. Makes me think the soul has to be one big spiritual blob to cover all the bases."...


"It's because you think of the realities as if they were real," said the shaman. "Souls can easily inhabit countless realities because they're all illusions. It's the concept of the holographic fractal all over again."...


The residual fluff left by the Mandela Effect was a mass, though muted indication that there is more to our everyday existence than meets the eye, thought the witch. There are other infinite venues that could serve as platforms as easily as the one we're on...


What was more astonishing was how easily people go along with social conformity, scratching their heads at anomalies but staying largely quiet about what they suspect to be off kilter. "It's been that way all along," they say. "You're just misremembering. Nothing's changed."...


Except for a few rare exceptions, she had not heard of many clergymen pointing out the outlandish and sometimes brutally absurd Mandela Effect on the bible...


It's a little scary, she thought, to think of the vast possibilities in an immeasurable multiverse. It's so much easier believing in a fixed spiritual destination after death, not a universe that accommodates all possible notions, further complicating the matter...


"Too bad we don't live in a reality where Trump cuts off Kim Jong-un's nuclear balls," said the warlock, "because it doesn't look like it's going to happen in our reality."...


"You never actually thought it would, did you?" said the magician...


"Not really," said the warlock. "I was just wondering how long it would take Trump to figure it out."...


"I think he has," said the troll...


"Then everything is back on schedule," said the magician...


"It never was off schedule," said the warlock...